All the single ladies, all the single ladies. Being single kinda sucks (If you're not married, you're single, btw!). We live in a society that emphasizes marriage and relationships and love. Shows like Say Yes to the Dress and four weddings help us envision what our "big day" will look like. And while it is a big day, it is certainly no the end all, be all of life. Marriage is important and special, but God didn't promise it to us. So in a world that allows us to make a Pinterest board filled with images of our wedding, how do we become okay with singleness?? How to we grow in relationship with Christ in order to be okay with the idea of not getting married? Where does God meet us in this singleness?? I dated a lot in high school. I have a need to fix things and not that people need fixing, but I thought that I could show them christ and in that, they would show His kind of love and compassion towards me. I thought this for nearly 6 years. I dated people who were kind and nice, but who didn't exhibit Christ. God painfully taught me that relationships don't work nor grow in He isn't the center of it. Period. If you're a Christian dating someone who is not a believer, break up with him sis. Your marriage won't be fruitful, it will not be Christ centered, it will not glorify him. Simply put, it will not better you or your relationship with Christ. That was a hard truth to hear, but an even worse one to experience. I am so much stronger in my faith as a single Christian than I ever was in a relationship with a guy. I didn't see Gods light shine in me until I took myself out of those dark relationships. It is difficult, it is not easy, but it is necessary. We aren't promised marriage. It is a good, a God given thing that many people experience, but we aren't guaranteed this relationship. What I'm experiencing and learning now is that I wouldn't be okay in my relationship with Jesus if I don't get married. I would be so broken and disappointed if he didn't grant that relationship to me. I idolize the thought of getting married. I idolize the thought of having a husband. That, my friend, is not good. If I would jeopardize my relationship with Jesus to have a relationship with a man, even a Christian man, then I am not putting Him first in my life. If I center my life around God, then my circumstances cannot change the foundation I am built upon. Right now, I talk about "when I get married.." or "when I have a family my life will be so complete" and while having those things is a gift and do complete center areas of life, I need to be fine with the thought of not having it. My husband could certainly lead me in Christian life and point. me to christ, but he is not responsible for my relationship with Jesus. He cannot bring me closer. I have to find that relationship with Christ on my own. How I view Jesus should not be dependent on whether or not I get married or not. I need to be close with Jesus so that I am firm and rooted in him in all situations, even if that means not being "given" something I think I should have. Grow for yourself ladies, not for a man for a future situation. Get close with Jesus, no one will love or care for you more. Friendships can fulfill a lot of the same wants and needs that dating and marriage do. Find people to do life with. Talk about your struggles, go on cute brunch dates, invite them to see a move, learn to do life with the people around you. The most living giving people I have are my girl friends. Friends are a true gift that God has given us and the community we surround ourselves with shapes how we act, what we think, what we say, etc. Find friends with different spiritual gifts and different personalities. They can and do fulfill the needs that a relationship does, obviously not all the things, but most. Maybe you don't idolize marriage, maybe you don't that limitation on Jesus, but we all have something. There is something in your life that you are placing above the Lord. What would break your trust and relationship with Jesus if you weren't granted it or it was taken it away? What do you spend the most time thinking about? What Pinterest boards do you have? Where are you placing a boundary on Christs plan for your life? It's a hard thing to allow Jesus to shine his light in the dark places of out hearts, but it is necessary. Allow him to show you where you lack trust. Allow him to know that part of you better. Focus on Jesus, put him back at the center. It will change how circumstances effect you. I am not at all saying that wanting to date and wanting to get married are bad things. I still desire those things, however, it is unhealthy to desire those things over a relationship with Jesus. Be careful what you prioritize. Remember who's you are. My sweet sisters in Christ. These gals are life giving.
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